my story...
I began dancing at the age of 12 years old. A very late start for most people in our field.
Before I began dancing I remember wanting to grow up and be many things. I wanted to be an artist, an architect, a writer, a school teacher, a journalist, an author, an event co-ordinator... the list went on! But when I began dancing, not only did I fall in love with the performing arts, but I soon forgot that anything else existed at all.
My passion and obsession with dance consumed me.
There truly is nothing in this world that can compare to the limitless and electrifying feeling of connecting your body with music. I began by taking two styles a week - jazz and hip hop - and no less that a term later I was taking everything from ballet to tap to contemporary to musical theatre. The following years were spent at concerts, rehearsals and late night Mc Donald's feasts after an eisteddfod.
I am extremely lucky to have a mother who not only nurtured my love for dance, but kept me grounded. Without realising it, my mother was constantly guiding me further into self-development and opened my eyes to all things well-being, spirituality and positivity. Young me did not realise the importance of this awareness that she had given me, and in hind-sight I can now see how vital this up bringing was to the building of my career.
I began assisting in classes, and eventually taking classes of my own and I realised the deep desire that I always had of teaching! By the age of 18 I was teaching the performance groups at my studio (All Starz Performing Arts) and began developing my skills in choreography and communication with others. At age 20 I decided to further my training and enrolled in a full-time dance course at Brent Street Studios. It was only at this point in my life that I truly though "Oh, I could make this a career!" I kept training, taking classes and being a part of the dance community and slowly, and without any planning, my career began to unfold.
Before I knew it I was working as a dancer. Something I never really realised was possible!
At the age of 24 SYTYCD Season 4 came back around and I auditioned with high hopes of being on the show. Two weeks before the Top 100 week I was rushed to hospital with a "viral infection". I was in there for 5 days, pumped full of antibiotics and sent home with no answer as to what had caused it. But of course, time went on and I had things to worry about! So off I went into the Top 100 week.
I had learnt so much about the power of thought and creating your reality that I believed with every inch of my body that I was going to be on the series. I saw myself there every week, working with choreographers, watching myself do a duo back on the screen, dancing in a group number and learning the top 4 finale routine. That dream however, was completely shattered after I was cut at Top 40.
It was the first time I had ever considered quitting dance...
I allowed myself to grieve and it was during these few days that I realised how quickly and easy it is to slip into the dark abyss of self-doubt & despair. I became aware of how regardless of the highs I had experienced, regardless of how successful I had been till this point, and how regardless of how much I loved what I did - I still fell into this black hole of wanting to quit. I still allowed one negative out weigh an abundance of positives.
Through the support of my family, my friends and words of wisdom from people that I highly respect and admire - I pulled myself out of the sticky negative thought pattern and chose to instead see the silver lining. That perhaps this was a 'blessing in disguise', which it did turn out to be. In fact, I actually did everything that I had imagined myself to do. I was there every week (assisting choreographers), I got to watch myself do a duo on screen and dance in the top 18 number (after one of the contestants injured themselves I had to step in) and I was the stand in dancer for the Top 4 in the grand finale routine. I was even invited to the wrap party! I did everything that I had wanted to do, but not in the way I imagined.
This was one of the most valuable lessons of my life and evidence of the universe working it's magical mysterious ways.
From this point forward I was propelled even further into my career and I was extremely lucky to take part in some incredible opportunities not only as a dancer but as an assistant and choreographer. However my health began to take a turn.
My body began to send me signals that something was not right
You see, up until this point I had spent my life eating and worrying about what my body should "look like" instead of what it actually "felt like"
My immune system was almost non existent and I would get sick at the drop of a hat. I was always bloated and fatigued and suffering from hormonal acne, and I would simply blame it on my stressful schedule. It wasn't until it got to a point where I was losing motivation to dance that I realised something much more serious was happening and that I needed to do something about it.
I began by doing the usual - searching through the internet, seeing what someone else was doing, and then doing exactly that - expecting the same results. Which of course, didn't happen.
It wasn't until I made the time and investment to go see a kinesiologist did I learn that I was infact intolerant to Gluten and allergic to Casein/Whey and that I had a virus living in my gut for roughly the exact same of time as when I was sent to hospital all those years ago before SYTYCD.
This information sent my mind into a spin and I dove into the study of Gut Health.
As I immersed myself in gut health and began sharing my experience on social media I realised how necessary this information was for almost everyone. My passion to inspire people took on a whole new level and #notinmybelly was born - a blog providing mindfulness blogs, recipes and product reviews.
Which currently brings me to the present.
Today I find myself being asked by young creatives how to 'make it' and originally I believed that my answer had to involve something that I did in dance. But in reality, it is all the human aspects, life lessons and understandings of myself that has allowed me to succeed and keep building my career in a holistically healthy way.
I am not only at ease physically, but emotionally and mentally too. And It is this that I wish to share and encourage with like minded individuals all around the world.
